Michael and Melinda Parisi
Michael: We met in college in Denver, Colorado in the early 90's.
Melinda: He was playing soccer. I was playing volleyball. My roommate hung out with a lot of the soccer players. And so our paths just naturally crossed. We spent a lot of time together.
Michael: I saw Melinda and knew instantly that I was attracted to her and wanted to pursue her and try and get to know her a little better. And luckily, I had the opportunity to do so.
Melinda: As Michael and I got married, we were both working professionals and enjoyed working hard to earn a lot of money, to save that money so that we could one day welcome children into our family.
Michael: Growing up in a family of five with my brother and sister, we watched our parents work incredibly hard to give us a better life. We did hear them argue about money on several occasions because money was always tight. And so internally, I had made a promise to myself and to my future wife that we would have enough money to never argue.
Melinda: My focus all throughout growing up was on people pleasing. I just was driven and motivated to succeed. As we welcomed our first daughter into our family, I just knew in the depths of my heart that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. And as our daughters grew, it started to weigh on me. Being a stay -at -home mom was really hard work and nobody was applauding my efforts or celebrating my successes. And the people pleasing and validation, need for approval that was a part of my upbringing, it came back.
Michael: I was focused on all things career and all things finances and Melinda was focused on being the stay -at -home mom. We were not bearing each other's burdens, we were not sharing struggles with one another, and so it made it really hard to be connected intimately.
*Melinda: *As I continued to look around and feel inferior to other moms around me, I took it upon myself to just place my focus on things that I could control. And for me, the natural element was to turn to fitness. I entered into a running partnership with a man from the gym and over miles and miles of training for these races, an emotional affair presented itself and over time that did turn into a full blown affair. What once was the most important thing to me being a stay-at-home mom and loving our girls well, all of that had been sideswiped by the emotions I had for this other man. I started to see Michael as an obstacle to my happiness and I wondered how on earth I was going to inform Michael that I was in love with another man and wanted out of our marriage.
Michael: A couple of weeks later, I received a phone call at work from a female on the other end of the line that I had never spoken to before. She was calling to inform me of Melinda's infidelity. I was angry. I was sad. I was confused. But just a few hours later, I do remember a conversation hugging Melinda, telling her that I wanted to forgive her, letting her know that I knew we could recover from this, but it was not going to be easy. Faith was not a part of our journey. And so we tried to white knuckle our way through repairing our marriage and it just didn't work. So in June of 2013, we separated, Melinda moved into an apartment. We told our girls that we were going to be living apart for a period of time. And I had lost all hope, pretty much. I filed for divorce at that point because I thought there was no other option. I was really hopeless until I received a phone call from a friend back in Dallas who was calling to ask me why I didn't show up to our 20th high school reunion. In that moment, I shared the mess that we were living in. And the way he received our story without judgment and the way he was willing to enter into my pain with me, it was incredible. And I was so thankful for that opportunity. He shared scripture with me. And over those next few weeks, he walked closely with me and led me to a personal relationship with Christ. My friend pointed me to reengage.org and described to me that there were stories of hope all over. And so I had an opportunity to, to listen to a story and see if it was similar to ours. I did find one that dealt with infidelity and that was very similar to the road that we were walking on. And I saw a story of God redeeming, restoring a dead marriage. And I thought to myself, if God can restore that marriage, why wouldn't He be able to restore ours?
Melinda: We entered into a month-long process with mediation, four separate mediation sessions, and it was after our final mediation session that I was by myself back at the apartment walking the dog and I felt as if I heard the Lord challenge me with conviction. Melinda, is this the purpose for which I created you? To abandon your marriage and your children? I have greater plans for you.
Michael: The morning after our final mediation session, I showed up to work and opened my email to a message from Melinda describing to me that she wanted to stop the madness, that she wanted to call off the divorce, and that she wanted to piece our family back together. This was the moment that I had been waiting for and had been praying for. And in that moment, I knew that it was time to welcome Melinda back home.
Melinda: Within a month of moving home, I chose to accept Christ as my Lord and Savior.
Michael: I knew that with God at the center of our marriage for the first time, that we could restore and rebuild our marriage. I was excited to look for a church near us that might offer re|engage, but unfortunately at that time there were no churches that offered re|engage in Colorado. A few months later, after putting God at the center of our marriage for the first time, we felt like we wanted to help other couples. We were excited about offering hope to other people who have walked through infidelity as well. So we had an opportunity to go back to our church in Colorado and explain to them that we had overcome something hard and that we were willing to put ourselves out there and to be a resource to others in the church. We had a pastor at our church ask us if we would be interested in starting a marriage ministry. And although both of us were new believers and fresh in our faith, we were given the opportunity, thanks to re|engage, to bring that ministry to our church in Colorado.
Melinda: As we began working through the re|engage curriculum and simultaneously leading other couples through the program, we realized that there was so much about God's design for marriage that we had not yet learned. Marriage isn't about our happiness. It is truly about our holiness in the way that we love each other.
Michael: No longer is my focus on my career or making money. Instead, I have the honor and privilege of glorifying God in the way that I love Melinda and the way that I serve her and my family.
Melinda: The beautiful gift that we celebrate today is our two daughters have witnessed genuine forgiveness, genuine reconciliation by the power of the Holy Spirit. And we give God all the glory.